we have some trouble with this internally as well. we have alters all over the gender spectrum. we have found that when there is some sort of system-wide pushback on an alter's gender, it's worth examining whether or not it's a system-wide bias. it sounds like it might just be the feminist alter that needs healing for you here though.

we have a council type thing too! all of our meetings are done internally, but we very much function as a business haha. we have to have meetings all the time to make decisions on life stuff.

functional multiplicity is definitely achievable! likely more achievable than full integration. my husband and i both have DID, which has been an interesting journey, but we are both functionally multiple.