Feeling everything and yet nothing at all

[tuesday_morning]

I've been silent for a while. I'm sorry about that. There has been a lot going on for me and I've honestly been bedridden with exhaustion on account of me having a cold and also experiencing nightmares with a nice heaping dose of trauma thoughts and junk to top it off... For the past two or three weeks, I've been suffering with my emotions being blunted and numb. I'm clearly still feeling a lot of emotions since I can still cry and feel so depressed that I sleep all day to cope, but at the same time, I still feel like my face has become a stoic mask that can emote on demand without any genuine feeling behind it... It's been really difficult, and I don't think isolating myself has helped in the slightest. I talk to people online daily, but that's probably not enough, even if it's the best I can manage at this time...

...I'm looking online with how to cope with this emotional numbness, and the internet tells me to take care of myself by eating well, getting plenty of rest, being mindful, staying busy, and talking to someone about this... I have a therapist appointment tomorrow morning, but I'm not sure that it will change anything at all... I should probably sleep again before tomorrow so I can feel rested enough for tomorrow instead of sleeping until 3pm again. 

I just wanted to give an update on where I've been. I hope you're all doing well these days.

Comments

[shadowbliss]

Fingers crossed your therapist can help.

[tuesday_morning]

Thank you. Session today really did help, so for that I'm thankful!

[a_natural_beauty]

I'm so sorry to hear you've been going through all of this. :(
I hope your therapist appointment has gone well.... or at least helpful. They may mention medications that could help. Or bumping up your therapist appointments.
You can always reach out to me if you need to. *hugs* I'm thinking of you.

[tuesday_morning]

We're currently looking into getting me referred out to a therapist who can see me more frequently (like on a weekly basis). As for medications, I see my psychiatrist next week so my therapist says I should bring up my concerns with her too, so I can possibly get a temporary adjustment on my medication since it's getting darker sooner in the day and that's making my mood crash as well.

Either way, therapy today was a success, so I'm grateful for that! :)

[a_natural_beauty]

I'm so glad to hear that! It's good to just take baby steps and not to get overwhelmed with our own mental health. *hugs*
I'm proud of you, friend! :)

[earthspirits]

Sorry you're experiencing this. I empathize with you. *gentle hugs* if you'd like them.

[tuesday_morning]

Thank you for the hugs. Hugging you back. And just as a positive note, therapy today was, indeed, something that helped, so I'm doing better today than I have in three weeks, thank goodness.