Steps towards achieving unity
Feb. 13th, 2024 02:25 pm
It's no secret that having DID is a difficult thing. For me, I cope by trying to convince myself that I'm just being silly or over-complicating things. But, alas, even in my best times, I have to admit to myself that there are very different parts of myself that are all "competing" for the spotlight, so to speak. I'm currently in yet another round of having switched to a major personality part, and I have to admit that I feel exhausted at this point in time. It's not her fault, nor the fault of any of my other parts. We're all just trying to make it through life over here, and that's all we can be expected to do. That being said, we still have the capacity to try and make things better through practicing self-care and coping skills.
When I think about how we'd all like to present ourselves to the world, I think it would be impossible to simply choose one part of myself to keep on primary display forever. Every part has their strengths and weaknesses, and we all need to be mindful of that. Besides, each part has played a very important role in my survival and existence thus far in life. I want to be able to honor each part of myself when it comes to pursuing a healing goal, so I think I'm going to keep on working towards "Functional Multiplicity" or "Healthy Multiplicity" as it's also known.
Right now, my Muslim part, my Witchy parts, and my "Inner Scientist" are all present in the driver's seat, and thankfully they are all trying to work together to help make some sort of a plan for this ultimate goal that we have. It's a hefty order, but not impossible. I think that maybe if I were to break down my ultimate goal into smaller goals, we'd be better able to create some kind of a plan to actually put into practice. I have to smile because it reminds me of my recently-ended DBT class. In DBT class, we'd learn a skill and put it into practice. We'd use the S.M.A.R.T. goal method, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. We'd learn some specific lessons every week in a two-hour class and then have some homework assigned to us to practice during the week. The homework was always related to the lesson. We'd make a record of our homework practice by filling out worksheets given to us, as well as filling out DBT Diary Cards on a daily basis (the sheet was a record of how many times we used coping skills during the week). We'd have a week to complete the homework before coming back for the next class, and at the next class, we'd build upon what was previously learned and complete the cycle of practicing what we learned all over again.
I say all of that to note that if I'm going to make any attempts at Functional Multiplicity, I'm going to have to be S.M.A.R.T. about it (lol, get it?). I'm going to start therapy again for supplemental help, but most of this work and planning is probably going to need to come from me and my parts. That's the only way that this is going to work properly. I think the first order of business is going to require me writing a "Parts Bill of Rights" contract for myself. In this Bill of Rights, which I can partially take inspiration from by looking online and at others, I'm going to have to list some things that each part is entitled to (such as the right to safety and basic compassion) as well as things that each part is NOT allowed to do (For example, disposing of the religious or spiritual materials of another part). Coming up with some sort of a guide for troubleshooting our issues might also be a good idea, but the Bill of Rights needs to come first. It's the foundation on which we can begin creating a skeleton of a plan before putting it into practice.
This method will likely be filled with progress as well as setbacks, but that's okay. The only way that we can truly learn is through trial and error, so I'd like to encourage all parts to not be afraid of setbacks or perceived "failures". We're all growing and changing, and with that comes growing pains that need to be accounted for.