~ I love you ~

In a couple of months, I will have been applying relaxers to my hair for at least one year. No, not monthly or on the daily, but once every three to four months to cover the roots of my hair as it grows out. I've been saying that I want to grow out my hair for awhile, but I can't seem to stop getting it cut. I think this time, though, I'm actually going to try to commit to keeping my hair longer because I miss being able to tie my hair into a short ponytail. Not only that, but I never intended to be relaxing my hair forever in the long-term. Eventually, I'd like to go back to my natural hair and try to live with it, but I wanted to grow out my hair first because when it's natural, my hair doesn't grow. The salon stylists told me that the reason my natural hair won't grow on its own (without being relaxed or braided) is because it coils around itself and doesn't allow any new growth. Besides, it's always dry, no matter how much product I put into it. But when I relax my hair, it can actually retain moisture or at least look well-kept for most of the day. Even still, I miss my natural hair and am beginning to forget how it looked on my head.

I can't wait for the day when I can go back to having my hair natural. It will save me money (at least on going to the salon) and it will help me to embrace my natural self even more. I think I look nicer with curly hair anyways. If it continues to give me trouble even after I stop relaxing, I might just decide to get it texturized from time to time (which, I think, is a different thing where the curls are relaxed a little, but not all the way). But the overall goal is to keep my hair curly the way God intended my hair to be. No shame to anyone who decides they want to relax their hair, though. I totally understand, and you gotta do what's best for YOU. It's your hair, after all.