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tuesday_morning[Periodically I will drop my thoughts into a Discord server and it will be noteworthy enough for me to post elsewhere. This is one of those posts, which will be marked on here as "Discord Post" just for my own reference.]
The Little Life Coach in My Head
The very vocal little Life Coach in my head is getting pretty sick of my BS it seems =w="
According to my inner voice, it's not a good thing or "cute" for me to be constantly calling myself "cringe" or otherwise putting myself down, even in a joking manner. Sometimes, maybe, but when it's constantly coming out of my mouth, that's when it becomes a problem according to her because of the saying "If you say a lie enough times over and over, you'll begin to believe it yourself." It's a true statement, at least in my own life. And when I look at why I keep putting myself down, it makes me see that "Wow... I'm doing this to appear 'smaller' in comparison to other people," which links to the reality that I only do that when I'm wanting to fit in or be liked by other people. It's definitely one of those things where you don't realize it until you're really deep in it, at least for me.
This is all to say, that inner Life Coach is yapping at me to quit bullying myself (which ends up making other parts of myself feel bad too) and to remember that if I actually want real friends like I say that I want to have, then I'm going to need to be brave by just being myself. I shouldn't force myself to try and be someone I'm not for the approval of others. Not that anyone is pushing that on me; it's just an automatic reaction from my brain that I'm trying to unlearn. It takes time and practice, but I know I can start working towards making that conscious choice to be confident every day. I just gotta work at it and keep surrounding myself with people who support me.
Oh, and one more thought. Inner Life Coach is telling me to not try to solve or fix the feelings of others either because it's like discrediting how people are feeling, even if it's not my intention. Sometimes the more important thing is to just listen and be there for a friend, not try to make the pain go away with "toxic positivity". It's okay to be blue sometimes too.
