Growing Pains

When all is said and done and it's time for me to grow up, I hope I don't ever forget how to hope, love, and adore each and every day.

At the tender age of 27, going on 28, I can't help but wonder what waits for me beyond the horizon. Who I am meant to be and who I will become.

I wonder if it will all matter in the end anyways. After I've finished my adventures in this life, will it have made a difference in the lives of others? Will any of it have mattered?

...I'm not sure that I would have been a significant blip on the radar of major world events, and yet somehow, I know that each decision I make in this life does have some significance to someone somewhere out there. It's called the "Butterfly Effect" or something, I think.

But even in the flurry of wanting to make my life mean something, I also like to remember that life is meant for slowing down too and feeling the breeze. It's not all about feeding into corporate machines and making money to survive. At least, that's not how it should be.

Right now, listening to an album from "The Pillows", I feel melancholy thinking about my wasted youth, spent trying to be an adult instead of a teen. Now I'm almost 28 with no golden years to reflect upon... I guess that's why I'm calling this era of my life my "twenty-teens".

I'm scared for the time when I "grow up" and lose that bright light that makes me who I am today. If and when that day comes, I hope I remember that there are still many things left to live for, even if the vibrant colors have begun to disappear from the world around me.

If you're reading this two more years into the future, don't forget the beauty that still exists in the world and in yourself, okay?

I love you. Keep on walking, Star flower.