Rapid Developments
Aug. 9th, 2023 07:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tuesday_morningWell, it appears that my brain-weird stuff just got a bit more complicated.
I made the "Full Circle" post a couple of days ago, and in the short amount of time that has elapsed since that post, yet another part has returned to the surface. This is odd because instead of having my focus on two different parts, it appears that I now have four different core parts that I am trying to communicate with all at once. These parts are all very strong in their opinions and beliefs and all different from one another in very crucial ways... and yet, at the same time, they all have their own ways of "interbeing" at the same time. We are all extensions of one another and all connected in one form or another.
I feel as though this is a gathering council of my core parts, and each one brings something of value to the table. Right now, each part also seems to be in agreement that they'd all like to merge together as much as is mentally possible. This is the power of my DBT teachings coming to life, because I'm trying to learn to let contradictions co-exist within me without letting that completely splinter and destroy my sense of self. Two opposite things can be true at the same time. It's like replacing "but" with "and" in sentences. For example, "I am religious AND I also practice non-traditional spirituality" instead of "I am religious, but I also practice non-traditional spirituality." That conjunction makes a very important difference in my sense of self perception.
With that being said, I think next steps are going to be me finding moments of silence to continue contemplating when I can. I've been gluing myself to my phone again to try and stave off the anxiety that I feel, but ironically this only makes it worse. So I'm going to have to activate an app on my phone that causes it to lock me out of most apps for a specified period of time. If I can actually commit to that instead of transferring my attention to my laptop, I think I'll be able to sit in silence so I can think deeper or focus on what really matters in my life. That's when I get the biggest revelations.
Learning how to be a fully fleshed-out person is weird, but it's exciting at the same time... okay, it's time to stop procrastinating now. Time to get down to business.
I made the "Full Circle" post a couple of days ago, and in the short amount of time that has elapsed since that post, yet another part has returned to the surface. This is odd because instead of having my focus on two different parts, it appears that I now have four different core parts that I am trying to communicate with all at once. These parts are all very strong in their opinions and beliefs and all different from one another in very crucial ways... and yet, at the same time, they all have their own ways of "interbeing" at the same time. We are all extensions of one another and all connected in one form or another.
I feel as though this is a gathering council of my core parts, and each one brings something of value to the table. Right now, each part also seems to be in agreement that they'd all like to merge together as much as is mentally possible. This is the power of my DBT teachings coming to life, because I'm trying to learn to let contradictions co-exist within me without letting that completely splinter and destroy my sense of self. Two opposite things can be true at the same time. It's like replacing "but" with "and" in sentences. For example, "I am religious AND I also practice non-traditional spirituality" instead of "I am religious, but I also practice non-traditional spirituality." That conjunction makes a very important difference in my sense of self perception.
With that being said, I think next steps are going to be me finding moments of silence to continue contemplating when I can. I've been gluing myself to my phone again to try and stave off the anxiety that I feel, but ironically this only makes it worse. So I'm going to have to activate an app on my phone that causes it to lock me out of most apps for a specified period of time. If I can actually commit to that instead of transferring my attention to my laptop, I think I'll be able to sit in silence so I can think deeper or focus on what really matters in my life. That's when I get the biggest revelations.
Learning how to be a fully fleshed-out person is weird, but it's exciting at the same time... okay, it's time to stop procrastinating now. Time to get down to business.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-18 06:38 pm (UTC)-Anastasia
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 07:54 pm (UTC)I think I'll be alright, I just need to continue riding these waves and remembering that the roadmap to getting back to who I am is within me somewhere. That's part of what I find amazing about this entire thing; that my mind is capable of healing itself like that. Doesn't mean that I can't use help from time to time, but it does mean that I am capable all the same, even with help from others. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2023-08-25 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 04:23 pm (UTC)