My Own Manic Pixie Dream Girl

[tuesday_morning]

 

I was thinking recently about how I try to be whimsical in the way that I think and act, and that got me thinking about the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" (or MPDG) trope in media. I had to look up the exact definition but it appears that I most definitely have that MPDG vibe; if not with others then most certainly with myself. I don't have a problem with it, but I do want to explore it a little bit.

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According to Google, this trope "embodies the male fantasy of a charming woman who is 'not like the other girls' and has no desires of her own. She is often portrayed as mysterious and unattainable, and is defined by her ability to make the life of a man more intriguing."

Starting here, this thankfully is not something that I think defines me... I do feel sometimes like I am different, but not in a "not like the other girls" sort of way. I actually LOVE being like other girls / women / enbies, but the difference comes in where I often feel set apart from others in my thinking... like I'm thinking and speaking in a language sometimes that others might have a hard time understanding the meaning of. I feel sometimes like I'm talking about deep topics that others can only see from a surface level, and it's not their fault, but it does feel isolating at times, especially when I realize that it's not considered "normal" to think the way that I do as often as I do... at least in my own perceptions. So I'm not trying to stand apart from others like that. I wish more often than not that I could help others to see the things that I can see, but even with my best efforts, I know people would have to reach their own realizations on their own; it's not something I can push or force in any capacity, even if sometimes I wished it would help them to fall more in love with themselves and with their existence and life in general...

Then there's this thing about having no desires of my own... I sometimes feel that I don't have my own hobbies, but I think that's a misconception I have about myself. I actually have SO MANY different beliefs and activities that I am very passionate about! I want to be a part of bringing about the liberation of people everywhere from oppressive systems, I have a passion for learning new things, and I want to dedicate my life to enjoying life itself through mindfulness and actually DOING life. My problem comes from not knowing how to pursue these interests. I have so many interests that I get overwhelmed and end up doing none of them, much to my irritation and dismay, but my desires are still there. I still want to be that girl who can be cute but also know a LOT about economics, every wave of feminism, how to tinker with electronics and furniture, and things like that. I was always about being self-sufficient, so even things like being a survivalist and knowing how to make it if I get lost in the woods would be something I'd be SUPER interested in. So I have interests and desires of my own.

There is some truth to the unattainable factor, and I guess I want to work on being more mysterious in a positive sense too. I feel like an unattainable person because I have trouble accepting advances from others, mostly of the romantic variety. They make me SUPER uncomfortable because of how quickly the people interested in me present those desires, so I don't see romance in my future, though I still wish dearly that it could happen to me, as I have so much love I want to share and receive from others too. I get this through friendships, yes, but romantic love is something I feel incredibly deprived of. I'll survive without it, but it still hurts all the same. And for being mysterious, I want to learn to be that myself. I actually speak too much for my own good, telling people things that are quite frankly none of their business in the first place. Sometimes opening up is good, but if I'm at work, do my co-workers really need to know about parts of my trauma backstory? Probably not... so I want to learn how to keep quiet to protect my own peace.

Finally, there's the consideration of wanting to make the life of a man more interesting. I wouldn't say I want to make this a reality ONLY to men or one specific man. I want to make the lives of EVERYONE more interesting, but not necessarily through sky-diving or going on extreme rock climbing adventures. I want to make the lives of others more bearable and interesting through helping others to see clearer with their five senses. I want them to find joy and beauty in the mundane, and perhaps even get in touch with their true feelings in times of sadness and hurt rather than pushing the feelings down or away, never to be seen again. I just want people to embrace the fullness of their own humanity, and I don't see that as being a bad thing to be looked down upon, you know?

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Google then goes on to describe the traits of a MPDG. They are as follows:

• Quirky: She may have colorful hair, whimsical philosophies, and unique style choices.
• Expressive: She may be honest, bold, and curious, and always down to try new things.
• Fragile: She may be self-destructive and volatile.
• Ethereal: She may have an aura of unattainability.
• Bookish: She may read books and listen to indie or older bands.
• Childlike: She may enjoy childlike things like plushies.

Apparently, according to a lot of YouTubers who made topics on this trope, the traits of a MPDG sound like someone who is on the autism spectrum, and looking closer at the trope, I think that makes sense... no wonder the psychologists who have evaluated me over the years are convinced that I am autistic. How silly I've been to try and trick myself into believing that the opposite was true!

All of the above would be applicable to me, and I say this as a fact, not as bragging.  The only things not accurate about me would have to be the bit about having colorful hair and unique style choices. If I could have my way, I'd be dressed in cute and dreamy outfits, if not cozy outfits during the colder seasons, but that's simply not in my budget at this time, and I am quite noticeably not a model in a magazine, so their same clothes don't look as nice on me.

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At the end of the day, I guess I am very much my own manic pixie dream girl, and even though some might "cringe" at that, I genuinely like myself this way and wouldn't want to be any different. If I'm not hurting anyone, then who cares? Let me live and enjoy my time on this earth. We're all only here for a limited time, so leave me alone, you know? Just wanted to explore my thoughts a little bit on here. Thanks for using your listening ears (or eyes) with me as I rambled. Love you!

 

Comments

[shadowbliss]

Well the trope was first coined when a reviewer was bashing the movie Elizabethtown (2005) to describe Kirsten Dunst's character. So if you want to go back to "the source" there you go.

[tuesday_morning]

I've never seen that movie myself and upon seeing a Wikipedia article about the reviewer's description of Kirsten's character, I can certainly tell this was not meant to be a compliment from the reviewer towards the character. In all honesty, if someone called me a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, I'd probably feel pretty offended since, well... I'm more than just a bubbly and shallow person, you know?

It's disappointing how women have been written in movies, especially back in the 2000's. I guess I can understand that, without having read that guy's actual review, because in movies even where the woman is the main character, back then (and sometimes even now) she'd feel incredibly one-dimensional and composed of stereotypes about what a woman is like. If I'm thinking back to a lot of movies, it was all about shopping, pop culture celebrities, makeup and perfume, and being fashionable. Also being overtly catty or a dorky / alternative outcast (in a not-like-the-other-girls way) or several other tropes.

I don't really watch movies much anymore, but I do want to say that I wish women weren't always being pitted against one another in media. What would be so unappealing about people writing women and girls to be in deep friendships with one another where things can maybe get complicated, but they still stay strong friends? I just don't get it personally. I think that would make for great television and movies, much like media about a healthy and functional family would be in today's society. I think a lot of us would appreciate that so we could have healthy representations of what realistic human interactions are supposed to be like. Even in my late twenties, I'd love to see another show again like Family Ties (healthy family) and maybe some shows like Sailor Moon (healthy friendships where they work together as a team).

This has been another ramble, lol

[shadowbliss]

I agree. I think its a shame how often women feel sidelined in their own stories. I feel like this has also ruined movies for me. The Red Shoes (1948) is a pretty amazing movie about dance, ruined when the central conflict of the film turns out to be "career or a man?" (spoilers but the answer is "suicide" - to be ENTIRELY fair though, "healthy communication" was never really on the table for a 40s marriage).

There are examples of women being written well from that time period and before but I do understand why the 00s and before get that overview.

[a_natural_beauty]

I loved reading your thoughts on this. Love you, too! I think it's important to think about things like from time to time. What makes us tick and what makes us happy - be it stuffed animals or books! What's important is that these things and expressing yourself makes you happy. I like to think I fit in this category as well, I just don[t have colorful hair and my style is pretty basic at times. The world can be a harsh place, so we need to stay happy and well the best we can *hugs*

[tuesday_morning]

Absolutely! And that's not to say that feeling blue isn't warranted as well from time to time, but I think finding joy and even meaning sometimes in the mundane can be so healing for the soul, at least in my own case. And I'm glad that my words in this post were something you enjoyed reading. Sometimes I worry I'm being boring, but thankfully that doesn't seem to be the case. c:

*Hugs back*

[a_natural_beauty]

No, not at all! Keep up with the posts! Whatever makes you happy! :)